Happy Career Day to You/Transcript
Brent Leroy: Hey, did you clean behind the cooler? Wanda Dollard: Yep. Brent: No you didn't. Wanda: Well if you knew why'd you ask? Hank Yarbo: She makes a good point. Brent: It's filthy back here. Wait a minute. What's this? Hank: It's a Dingle Puff. Brent: With an expiration date of July 1978. This Dingle Puff is over 30 years old. Hank: Ah, you could be holding the world's oldest Dingle Puff in your hands. Cool. Wanda: See? If I had cleaned behind the cooler, you would have never found that. Then where would we be? I'm a hero, really. Brent: You're still cleaning behind the cooler. Wanda: Damn it. Mrs. Johnson: Thanks, Emma. It's great to have you volunteering at the school. Emma Leroy: Oh well, it gets me out of the house. Johnson: Listen, could you watch the kids? I just have to step out for a sec. Emma: Sure. Your teacher will be right back, she... Principal: Looks like Mrs. Johnson won't be back. What are you doing the rest of the day? Emma: But I'm not a teacher. Principal: Just until we find a substitute. And what are you doing tomorrow? Davis Quinton: Hey Lacey, do you know what day tomorrow is? Lacey Burrows: Wednesday. Davis: And do you know whose birthday it is on Wednesday? Lacey: Abe Lincoln. Davis: No. I don't know, maybe it is. I meant me. Lacey: Oh, happy birthday. I'd love to come to your party. Davis: I'm not having a party. I'm heading to Missouri Jack's Rib Emporium. On your birthday you get to wear a silly hat and the waiters come out dressed like a mariachi band. Lacey: Because Missouri is famous for its mariachi bands? Davis: So fun. I knew you wouldn't like it. Lacey: What? I can have fun. Davis: You don't do anything for birthdays here. Lacey: What do you call 10% off soup and a free bun? Davis: It's OK, birthday hoopla's not for everybody. Lacey: You come here tomorrow and I'll give you and Abe Lincoln something to talk about. Watch me. Telephony System: Hello and thank you for calling Tasty Treats Bakeries. Press 1 if you're looking for employment. Press 2 if you wish to submit a delicious recipe. Press 3 if you've found an old Dingle Puff...Please wait for our next available Dingle Puff representative. Your snack-related questions are important to us. Oscar Leroy: I've been waiting in the car five minutes waiting to be gassed up. Brent: Shh, we're in the middle of an important phone call. Dingle Puffs Rep (phone): Tasty Treats Bakeries. Brent (phone): Yes, hello. We found a 30 year old Dingle Puff, perfectly preserved in its original packaging and we thought maybe you'd want to put it in a food museum or something. Dingle Puffs Rep (phone): Ah, nope. Brent (phone): Well, what should we do with it? Dingle Puffs Rep (phone): Throw it out. It's 30 years old. Hank: Ask him if we can eat it. Dingle Puffs Rep (phone): Whatever you do, don't eat it. Or anything else that's 30 years old. Hank (phone): Well, what if we wash it down with a... Dingle Puffs Rep (phone): Don't eat it. Anymore questions, that aren't about eating? Brent (phone): Who played Mrs. Howell on Gilligan's Island? Karen Pelly: Hey Emma, what are you doing? Emma: Well, I have to keep a group of 10 year olds busy for a couple of days. Do you think three hours is too long for nap time? Karen: They're 10 year olds, they don't nap. Emma: Well, Brent had nap time when he was ten. Wanda: He still looks sleepy. Emma: What am I gonna do? Wanda: Why don't you have guest speakers? Like a career day or something. That'll eat up the clock. Emma: That's a good idea. Wanda: Well, I could swing by and... Emma: Karen, could you come to the school and talk to the kids about your career? Karen: Sure, I'd love to help you out. Wanda: Hey, why did you go right to Karen? Emma: Well, Lacey's been so busy lately. Thanks guys. Wanda: Wow, that was a steel-toed boot to the ego. Karen: Ah, don't take it so personal. She probably wants someone with a career and not just a job. Lacey: I heard it's someone's birthday, I wonder if it's true. I heard it's someone's birthday, I wonder if it's you. Happy, happy birthday, Davis. Woo! Davis: Do I get a whistle ring too? Lacey: No, that's mine. Oscar: What are you jackasses looking for? You lose some keys? Brent: No, we can't find...what are you eating? Oscar: Dingle Puff. Delightful little snack. I remember them being moister though. Brent: Did you find that on the counter? Oscar: Yeah, why? Karen: Being a police officer can be a very exciting career. Classmate 2: Have you ever shot your gun? Karen: Yes, by accident. Classmate 1: Then what did you do? Karen: Well, I had the bullet removed. Classmate 1: You shot yourself? Karen: No, I had it removed from the filing cabinet. Then I had to fill out a report. Emma: They're starting to nod off. Oscar: Geez, it's hot out here. Brent: Are you sure you're OK? Oscar: Never better. Oh, I better get home before the gas station starts spinning again. Hank: Here, let me help into the car. Oscar: Thank you, ma'am. Drive me home please, Buckwald. Hank: OK, this is freaking me out a bit. Does your Dad even have a driver? Brent: Yeah, but his name's "Wentworth." Maybe I should drive you home? Oscar: OK, but turn the heater up. It's freezing in here. Karen: I guess the hardest part of being a police officer is operating within a tight municipal budget. Classmate 1: Are you for real? Wanda: Did someone say "candy?" Class: Yeah! Karen: No, nobody said "candy." Wanda: Well, I brought some anyways. I just got too much of it. I'm surrounded by it all day long where I work. Classmate 2: What's your job? Category:Transcripts